Evolución de las amistades


Todos sabemos que el entorno en el que uno vive es muy importante para nuestro desarrollo, simplemente con que uno viva en un chalet o viva en una comunidad de vecinos el tipo y número de amistades es totalmente distinto.

A modo de resumen, se puede clasificar el histórico de amigos según las siguientes categorías:

a) Mientras uno vive con los padres

– Amigos de la infancia ( de la misma urbanización o comunidad de vecinos)

– Amigos del colegio

– Amigos de la Universidad

– Amigos de la «mili»

b) Una vez nos independizamos, las nuevas amistades provienen de

– Familiares ( Cuñados, Suegros, primos, etc..)

– Vecinos

– Amigos del trabajo

– Padres de los amigos de nuestros hijos

Según vamos pasando por cada uno de los anteriores estadios, los amigos van desvaneciéndose y solo con unos pocos seguimos en contacto.

Cuando nos independizamos se produce un hecho curioso y es un mayor acercamiento hacia los padres, es decir que mientras vivíamos bajo su tutela tenían esa figura de padres y considerábamos que así iba a ser toda la vida, y tras independizarnos se produce una necesidad de mayor acercamiento (Uno realmente aprecia lo que tiene cuando lo pierde). Esto se acentúa mucho más una vez se tienen hijos, pasamos de salir los fines de semana con los amigos a ir a casa de los padres o suegros.

En relación al trabajo considero que es un entorno de pocos amigos en relación al tiempo que se comparte, puedes estar con compañeros de trabajo diez horas al día y apenas conocerles. Para evitar esto es fundamental poder comer con ellos,  estando totalmente prohibido hablar del trabajo.

Nota: «A la gente se la conoce en el trabajo, en la comida y en el juego»

Siempre he dicho que si se quiere conocer a alguien no hay nada como salir de copas un noche, si somos tres o más uno no se sincera de la misma forma, es como si se estuviera hablando en público.

Por último destacar dos factores determinantes:

a) Tener «pareja», cabría diferenciar dos estadios:

a.1) Etapa donde se sale en grupo de amigos, chicos o chicas, en la que simplemente por echarte novia se abre una linea de alejamiento no por parte de la pareja  si no de los amigos.

a.2) Etapa donde se sale por parejas, ahora entran en juego dos personas más y por tanto la amistad ahora se debe mantener a «cuatro bandas». En este caso muchas amistades se pierden, lo más curioso y no lo digo por ser hombre es el factor «femenino» es decir que si las que no congenian son las mujeres esto se traduce en que cada vez se espacia más el contacto, hasta la perdida de la amistad, pero en cambio con que simplemente se lleven bien las mujeres esa relación no se pierde.

b) Tener hijos, se produce un hecho similar al caso anterior «a.1» donde se abre una linea de alejamiento por parte de los amigos que no tienen hijos a raíz de la cual y del factor «entorno» se produce una aproximación entre las parejas con hijos, donde se tiene un tema de conversación y de vivencia similar, pero ¡¡¡OJO!!!  es importante que no ocurra como cuando se va a comer en el trabajo, es decir que el único tema de conversación sean los hijos.

Ya lo dije hace mucho tiempo que para ver a viejos amigos los únicos eventos donde se daría esto serían en las bodas y los funerales, siendo estos últimos los que se convierten en el lugar de reencuentro por antonomasia.

Tras esta descripción, reflexionando respecto a los amigos que tengo pienso en algunos de los que se han ido desvaneciendo, pero no lo veo con tristeza lo veo como un momento especial de mi vida

Actualmente puedo decir que sigo en contacto con: dos amigos de la infancia, dos de la universidad, uno de la «mili» y tres del trabajo

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